


This ain't no high school: This is the Hellmouth

by Avery42



Series: Heathers AU's Headcanons [8]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Buffy The Vampire Slayer Fusion, F/F, F/M, Headcanon, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 10:41:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21252065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avery42/pseuds/Avery42
Summary: In every generation, there is born one who will stand against the forces of darkness...





	This ain't no high school: This is the Hellmouth

**Author's Note:**

> What can we say, we were watching Buffy, and Cordelia was Cordelia in the most Heathers way possible -Avery42

Characters:

  * Martha is the Slayer, and Veronica the Technopagan, JD the ordnance expert, and Betty “I’m a demon” are her scoobies
  * Mac is a recently turned werewolf
  * Duke is a Watcher in training, and overlord of Westerberg’s Library
  * Chandler is the one, the only, Mythic Bitch of the Hellmouth, Cordelia
  * Duke’s Mother is Martha’s watcher. The pair used to be really close until the Watcher’s Council pushed them apart, because Slayer’s aren’t allowed to engage in healthy behaviors, like having friends and hanging out. Martha doesn’t know that the council had a hand in splitting them apart and Duke still feels guilty over it (but won’t admit it, because she’s stubborn)

Major Story Arcs:

  * The Scooby gang finds out about the Snake Cult at Remington kidnapping girls to sacrifice for wealth and power and think the Heathers may be helping them
    * Martha is hesitant to accuse Duke and obviously can’t tell her watcher of the Gang’s suspicions, so Veronica infiltrates the clique to investigate
    * Turns out David and Brad are evil and the Heathers are then next target and the gang saves them and reveals that which goes bump in the dark to them
  * Duke’s Mom is murdered by a Vampire
    * Ms. Fleming becomes Martha’s interim watcher
    * Cumulates in Martha and Duke reconciling and Duke taking over as her watcher because she’s far more qualified then some half-baked hippie

Misc. Trivia:

  * Duke and Martha would read Dracula in kindergarten, mocking him as they went
  * Duke unironically wears green plaid and tweed and somehow makes it look awesome
  * All the books Duke reads are actually ancient tomes of lore for her Watcher Studies, though she does appreciate the classics as well
  * Kurt and Ram’s parties fail because everyone is like “No, we can just go to the bronze”
  * Kurt and Ram are first few seasons Spike and Drusilla, but in highschool and way more incompetent
  * There’s that one day where the Heathers are hanging out at Duke’s house and Martha stops by to talk Slayer stuff, and the Heathers are like “What?” while Veronica slips off to join because she’s Martha’s mega-witch back up
  * Betty is Anya. Veronica accidentally made a contract with her when she was three and and trying to summon Satan for Take your Hero to School Day and she’s just kinda stuck around (Betty shows up and is like “Why is this three-year-old drawing pentagrams on the wall? Oh well, I guess I just have to make up a backstory and stick around until she can magically consent to a contract”)
  * Veronica, Mac, and JD have a gay-disater love triangle in the vein of Williow, Oz, and Xander
  * Mac is super good with computers and applying to MIT for computer science, Veronica is thinking “Harverd, Duke, or Brown,” while Duke is stuck with secret British Magic School
  * 7/11 is JD’s one stop shop for scooby snacks and explosives components. Don’t ask which is which
  * Duke and Martha getting stuck in Slayer-fest at some point
  * Jenny Calendar is Duke’s Ex-girlfriend from one of the other highschools, a techno-pagan and part of Veronica’s Coven. One day she storms over and threatens to expose Duke while Veronica is just slowly hiding behind a pamphlet
  * JD to vampires tied to chairs: “Do you know what happens when you blow up the roof to a mausoleum? All that sunlight, suddenly pouring in. Does… unfortunate things... to vampires.”
  * Mac and Veronica make awkward conversation with each other while being aggressively recruited by tech companies, and then decided to blow the joint and do something fun


End file.
